By the time you read this, your super hot boss will have done something embarrassing, dumb or gross. A hot guy isn’t better or bigger than us regular looking people, so if you wanna act normal and possibly have a chance with him, take him off the pedestal. In no time, you’ll catch him picking his nose or something.

But let’s calm it down for a sec. How about instead of obsessing / mapping out where you’ll live, what your new last name will look like in cursive and what your kids names will be (I know you have a list already), my advice to you is to do your job. Do the shit out of it. Nothing makes a guy notice you more than when you don’t notice him at all. Not only will it help your job (that’s what you’re getting paid for), it will also help you get over the shyness.

While everyone else might be drooling over your boss Ryan Gosling, you’ll be doing a good job and (fake) not giving a shit. And then what happens? You actually won’t really give a shit because you feel good about yourself (we feel good about ourselves when we are being of service, aka ego takes a rest). And what happens after that? He’ll like you (no promises). And then what happens? You find out your “dream man” is actually: A. a huge asshole; B. as dumb as those black and white Mickey Mouse cartoons; C. as boring as said cartoons; D. is like Ben Stiller’s character in Greenberg.

It also won’t hurt to wear cute outfits to work. Just saying.

NOTE TO GIRLS AND YOUR FUTURES: None of you are gonna marry Ryan Gosling because, when it comes down to it, none of you will really want to — unless you’re as assholey as they are, so if that’s the case, cool.

P.S. Not saying Ry Ry Goss Goss is an asshole (I bet he’s super nice), but most good looking dudes (this goes for girls too) have relied so much on their good looks their whole lives that they never realized they were: A. dumb; B. boring; C. jerks. That’s why so many people get plastic surgery now. Sic transit gloria.

P.P.S. Props given to @chelseaperetti for “Ry Ry Goss Goss.”

P.P.P.S. I have no idea what I’m taking about because everyone I know is hot, smart, not-boring and nice. So ignore that and just stick to the doing-your-work part.